Where to Start

Every divorced person I have met have one of two responses when I tell them I am a Divorce Coach:  Either “I could have used you when I was going through my divorce”  or  “Oh my gosh, I didn’t have a clue where to start”.    Same here, baby!    My divorce wasn’t so long ago.  12 years.   But even “back then” (as if that was the olden days) there were not resources like there are now.   I knew one thing…. You call an attorney. Right?  That’s what you do…. You call an attorney and they handle it all. 

 No. and Yes.  And No.

 Is this you? “I know there is no recovering this marriage.  I need to get a divorce.  But I don’t know where to start.”   Here are some general steps to get you started.

 Step One

You need to know, it can and will be ok.   People can not only survive but they can thrive after divorce.   

 Step Two

Put on your oxygen mask first before helping others, including your kids.   This means making sure you take care of yourself physically and psychologically.

 Step Three

Understand your finances.  Know what you have in assets and debt. 

 Step Four

Start establishing yourself as a financial individual.  Run a detailed credit report on yourself. 

 Step Five

Educate yourself on the process and terminology. 

 Step Six

Research attorneys.  This person is about to assist you with a major life change that will greatly alter your life and the lives of your children.

   Step Seven

If you have kids, you will need a Parenting Plan. See Parenting Plan in Digital Products for a template.  It is your co-parenting operation manual.   Without one, you are almost guaranteed to have an ongoing conflict that could be extremely high. Divorce is not what hurts kids the most, it is the conflict.  It is hard to get things in place after the divorce is final so get ahead of it now.  Start familiarizing yourself with the contents and start identifying how you want that written.  

 Step Eight  

There will be major financial changes ahead.  Your attorney will help you with the division of assets and debts, child support, and alimony.  They are less likely to help you with Household Contents.  Get ahead of that and start thinking about your wants and interests in all the “stuff”.   If you need a template to help with division, reach out.    Also, it is also highly recommended you start thinking about who pays for what when it comes to the kids, and how much variable expenses (the expenses not covered in child support) each will pay.   For financial protection and minimizing financial conflict, see Variable Expenses in Digital Products.

  I just gave you a lot of homework.   No way around all this.   For more details, download your “Divorce Starter Guide” and see other templates in the Digital Guides.   You have months of work ahead of you.  Start planning.   And, reach out for help and coaching along the way.   Schedule a time today!